


Happily Ever After

by winterwonderland



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, M/M, a pinch of drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 09:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2576477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterwonderland/pseuds/winterwonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agron walks in on his worst nightmare and hijinks ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happily Ever After

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something silly and stupid I wrote way back when. Emphasis on the stupid.
> 
> P.S. No triangles, cheating or threesomes. Sorry.

 

Three days earlier...

 

“Well, why don’t you just tell him to go?”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried that, Chadara? He just refuses to listen to reason. As usual.”

“And you really think it would be that bad if he didn’t–”

“He’d end up regretting it and then hating me for it. He just can’t see it yet, but wait a year or two and he would. And anyway, that job... I mean, I like to think I’ve found my dream job, but that offer...it’s _everything_ he’s ever wanted. Since he was twelve or something. I can’t just let him turn that down for _me_.”

“So what are you gonna do?”

“All suggestions are welcome, because I’m out of ideas.”

“Well, maybe it’s time you stopped talking and _did_ something about it. Maybe he just needs an incentive to go. A push out the door, if you will.”

“And what would that be?”

“Mm...I don’t know...What’s his worst case scenario? You could try that.”

 

* * *

 

“Just so you know, I’m having some serious second thoughts about this.”

The gently accented voice behind him that Nasir on any other day would’ve found perfectly agreeable was now quickly starting to grate on him. Castus suddenly developing a moral backbone was the last thing he needed on this day of all days.

Everything had gotten off to a flying start when the new batch of students had somehow thought that height jokes were the way to go to warm up to their new doctoral advisor. Then at lunch a waiter had spilled three glasses of red wine on his shirt, and just to top everything off, another train strike had had the whole city in a chaos and he had been forced to walk home all the way from the Left Bank. In a pair of new shoes that he just then had come to realize were a half a size too small.

And then of course there was also the teeny, tiny fact that he was now only minutes away from most likely never seeing Agron again. So all in all, it was fair to say he’d been in better moods in his life.

“You already promised you’d do this,” he said over his shoulder as he stepped inside the bedroom, “so stop whinging and let’s just get this bloody thing over with.”

“Yeah, well easy for you to say since it’s not _your_ nose he’s going to break, now is it?”

“He’s not going to...” Nasir stopped in mid-sentence and let out a deep breath as he turned around. “We’re all adults here and he’s not going to be breaking anyone’s nose,” he said. “So just calm down and get your damn clothes off, okay?”

Deciding to show by example, Nasir started unbuttoning his own shirt, then about halfway through, he glanced up at the other man. And then he could only stare at him wide-eyed for a second. Or five.

“What are you doing?”

Castus stared back and frowned in confusion. “What?”

“Well, you’re...” He waved his hand ineffectively in Castus’ general direction, “...naked.”

“You _just_ told me to take my clothes off, didn’t you?”

Nasir took a calming breath. “I didn’t mean _everything_.”

“Sorry, but I’m not a mind reader,” Castus scoffed and picked his underwear up from the floor. “And, by the way, if you're looking for my face...that's not it.”

“Oh, fuck off–”

He was interrupted by the sound of the front door slamming shut down the hall.

“Babe? Are you home?”

Both men inside the bedroom froze as they listened to the footsteps suddenly coming closer outside on the creaky wooden floor. And then, before Nasir had time to ask himself if he was actually just about to make the most horrible mistake of his life, the door was already pushed open and Agron’s head popped in.

“Nasir, you here?”

Agron stopped in mid-step, feet hovering over the threshold, and for a long moment, he just stood motionless in the doorway as his eyes travelled between the two men inside: Nasir, who was looking even more high-strung than usual; and Castus, who in turn was even more...naked than usual.

Once the first of the shock had worn off, he could see Nasir opening his mouth to speak, but Agron wouldn’t even let him begin, instead he unclenched his fists and slowly held up his hands.

“Don’t. Even.” He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. “Once you’re done here, I’d really like to see you back in the living room.” And with that, he was already out the door.

“Agron? Wh–”

Nasir exchanged a quick look with Castus, whose confused expression matched his own to a tee.

“That’s it?” he asked. “Is it weird that I’m a little disappointed now?”

Weird or not, Nasir found himself feeling exactly the same way, and he quickly started after the man who had already disappeared into the other room.

“Look, I’m sorry you had to find out like this, but it’s...”

Nasir’s voice trailed off as he made it around the bookcase and took a better look at the man now sitting on the sofa.

“You’re taking this surprisingly well,” he said and narrowed his eyes, “ _Suspiciously_ well.”

“Am I really?” Agron asked and leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes with a deep sigh.

“Well, I would’ve thought you’d be a little more...pissed off by now.”

“About what? That he has a bigger dick than me?”

Nasir narrowed his eyes even more and then walked over to the couch and pressed the back of his hand against Agron’s forehead. Agron swatted the hand away.

“I’m not sick.”

“Well, sorry if I’m having a little trouble understanding how _this_ is your reaction. You just walked in on me and Castus, a _naked_ Castus, in the bedroom and you’re not throwing pottery around? That’s like your nightmare scenario, right?”

“You know it is,” Agron said with another, even deeper sigh as he finally opened his eyes again and turned to fully face Nasir, leaning his elbow on the back of the sofa. “Which is exactly why I’m having trouble believing it.”

“But you just literally caught us–”

“Are you honestly going to tell me that if you were actually going to cheat on me, and with Castus of all people, you’d do it in _our_ bed, in the middle of the day, when I can come home at any time?”

“That’s really not the–”

“And Chadara just _happened_ to call me half an hour ago to tell me to get home asap because you were having some emergency with the plumbing?”

Nasir would have probably groaned at Chadara’s lame attempt at puns if he hadn’t been too busy getting irritated. And if there was any cosmic irony in the fact that he was now getting mad at Agron for _not_ getting jealous of him and Castus, he was going to willfully ignore it for the moment.

“Wait. So let me get this straight, I once go and have dinner with him without telling you and it’s the end of the world, but me and him getting naked in the bedroom...well, that’s _definitely_ not cheating? I mean, what the hell, Agron?”

“First of all, I thought we were supposed to be way past that dinner fiasco, and second–”

Agron stopped abruptly and looked over Nasir’s shoulder.

“Could you please tell him to put some clothes on?”

Nasir turned around and then rolled his eyes when he came face to face with Castus.

“I _am_ wearing underwear now,” the man said on a huff and defiantly crossed his arms.

“And maybe you could try trousers on next, huh?” Nasir made a shooing gesture with his hands. “Just...a little privacy here, okay? Go put _something_ back on and then make yourself a sandwich or something.”

“Come here, go away; take your clothes off, put your clothes back on,” Castus muttered, “maybe someone should try making up their mind.”

He finally turned back to the corridor, but then did another sharp left turn and walked straight into the kitchenette instead. Nasir followed him with his eyes, but then decided to pick his battles and concentrate on Agron. So he lumbered up to the sofa and sat down.

“So what’s this all about?” Agron asked, once he finally took a break from scowling at the kitchen, “And I’m sorry, but you won’t convince me you’re actually sleeping with him. So was it supposed to be some test or something? Or some inside joke? Because it’s not fucking funny.”

“No...” Nasir took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. His ponytail had gotten half-undone at some point and he pulled it all up in a haphazard bun to get the hair out of his eyes. Style wasn’t exactly the number one issue on his radar right now. “It’s about Berlin.”

“Berlin?”

“I really think you should take that job. _Really_.”

“So you keep saying, but what does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, since you refuse to listen to reason, I just thought–”

But he was cut off by Agron who was suddenly off the couch and up on his feet, flailing his arms around.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait...”

Agron raked his hand through his hair, half-afraid he would soon be pulling off tufts of it.

“Please, tell me you’re not saying that you actually...that you actually did all this just to...” He groaned and then quickly landed back down on the sofa again, flopping against the backrest with his eyes closed. “And I thought I was supposed to be the melodramatic one in this relationship.”

“I’m not melodramatic,” Nasir scoffed.

“No? You pretend to cheat on me with this idiot just to get me to break up with you? Where did you get _that_ idea from, an episode of–”

“Can I just say that I object to the word ‘idiot’?”

Agron’s head snapped to the side so fast he was sure he just gave himself whiplash.

“And this would be a good time for you to shut the fuck up.”

Castus shrugged and went back to ladling food in his mouth. And then Agron finally realized what he was doing.

“Are you eating _my_ apple pie?”

“I didn’t see your name on it.”

“That was the last piece.”

Castus shrugged again and continued to scrape the plate with his spoon just a little louder.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m going to kill him.”

At that point Agron was already halfway off the sofa again, but he didn’t make it further than that when Nasir grabbed his arm and yanked him back down.

“So back to Berlin,” he said with a pointed look, “It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, and, okay, maybe in hindsight this Castus thing was a stupid way to try and make you finally see that. So why don’t we just forget it ever happened. But anyway...the fact is that you’ll never get a chance like this again. And you know it.”

“And I also know you couldn’t come with me because of _your_ work, and I’m not interested in doing us long-distance. And I’m definitely not interested in ending things. So I’m not going, and no amount of guys you pretend to sleep with is going to change that.” He rolled his eyes. “But please don’t start _actually_ sleeping with other guys now.”

“Asshole.”

And Nasir emphasized the point by punching him in the arm, but Agron ignored him and quickly went on. “My friends are here, my life’s here, my home’s here. _You_ are here. I don’t understand how you can’t see why that’s more important to me than some corner office with a view and a six-figure salary.”

Agron could hear Castus whistling low in the background, but he had no time to react, because Nasir was talking again.

“And that’s a great sentiment and all, but how are you going to feel about it next year or three years from now? How sure can you be that you’re not going to start regretting it at some point? And resenting me for it? Come on, you’re telling me that every time we have a fight you’re not gonna end up thinking how you gave up your dream for me? I don’t want that. And I don’t want you to give up your dream for me, either. You need to go; that job is all you’ve ever wanted to do in life.”

“Yeah, it is.” Agron ran his hand through his hair once more and then carefully glanced over at the other man. “It _was._ Five years ago.”

“Agron...”

“I’m just not that guy anymore. People change. Dreams change. You know that.”

And Nasir liked to think that by now he could tell if the other man was being sincere or not, and it really seemed like he was. But the problem was, there was more to this than just one day’s worth of drama.

“So what’s all this been about this past month, if not that?” he asked. “You’ve been acting weirder and weirder ever since you got that offer, and you know you have. I mean, last week at the faculty party when I made that joke about where we would be in ten years, you practically ran away and hid in the bathroom for the rest of the night. It didn’t exactly make me think you were that thrilled about sticking around.”

“Maybe he just had a _real_ bad plate of sushi at lunch,” Castus said in between chews.

Agron gave him his most tired look. “Why are you still here?”

“Please...” He waved the spoon in Agron’s direction. “This is like free cable.”

Their stare held for a second until Agron finally gave up.

“Fine,” he groaned, “then you’re really going to love this.” And he reached for his leather jacket that was thrown over the back of the couch. “You want to know why I’ve been acting weird?” He fished something out of one of the pockets and then placed it firmly in Nasir’s hand. “ _This_ is why.”

And Castus whistled under his breath once again. “Unexpected plot twist is unexpected.”

But Nasir was no longer paying any attention to him, or to Agron for that matter, being too busy staring at the box resting on his palm.

“If this is going to be some joke, you better tell me now, because otherwise I’ll probably start overreacting in about five seconds or so.”

“It’s not a joke.”

Nasir peeled his eyes away from the black velvet and looked up at Agron. “But you don’t ‘do’ marriage.”

“Right, well–”

“It’s a useless institution for people with no willpower who can’t commit to anything without a piece of paper telling them to...a.k.a. straight people.”

“I might have said that.”

“Then why...” Nasir shook the ring box in his hand. “...this?”

“Well, that job offer got me thinking about life. And choices. And what I really want to do in life and how and who with and...” He let his voice trail off and gave a tired laugh. “But then that was before you decided to drag _this_ ass into it.”

“Hey! Fuck you, okay. I’m just an innocent bystander here, so I could do without all the name calling, thank you very much.”

Agron rubbed a hand across his face. “If you think _ass_ is bad, then you really don’t want to know what I–”

“Well, you do have a nice arse, though,” Nasir said, deciding to interrupt Agron’s complaining before he had an actual fistfight on his hands.

“Thanks, dear. I’m glad someone’s noticing.”

“Always happy to be of service. And I’m su–”

The rest of his sentence was muffled under Agron’s hand.

“Can you maybe finish talking about servicing his ass some other time? Like maybe _after_ I’ve done proposing?” He glared at the man by the kitchen counter. “That isn’t too much to ask, is it?”

Castus raised his hands. “Look, I’m sorry, man. I didn’t realize that’s what you were supposed to be doing.”

“And what exactly did you think this was?”

“Well, I’m hardly an expert, but even I know that you’re not supposed to just shove the ring at the guy and then keep on sulking with a stick up your ass. And not even the fun kind, mind you.”

“You know, I didn’t exactly _plan_ on doing it like this, and definitely not with you here...” Agron groaned and slumped back against the couch, rubbing his face a little more. “And he’s right. This has to be the shittiest proposal in the history of proposals.”

“I honestly don’t give a toss about a proposal, but I do care about this whole you suddenly wanting to marry me thing,” Nasir said. “And I could really do with an explanation for that. But, you know, in your own time. Whenever you two are done talking about it first.”

Agron couldn’t help but cringe a little as he now looked at Nasir’s face. There was a reason he had been stalling this for a whole month. And it had nothing to do with Berlin or second thoughts or doubts or cold feet; it was just that he really wasn’t good at this. He could argue himself out of a paper back in a legal brief, in three languages, but if he had to talk to Nasir about anything serious, he most often than not only ended up screwing everything just to the brink of unsalvageable. And if there was one thing he didn’t want to screw up, it was _this_.

“Okay...”

He took a deep breath, like a diver about to go under.

“So yes, five years ago that job would’ve definitely been all I ever wanted in life. Because my job _was_ my life back then. And it was enough. More than enough.” He shrugged and decided to stare at his feet for a minute. “And I know it sounds horrible, but after Duro had that accident, there were moments when I wasn’t sure what I was more angry about, his wheelchair or all the months of work I had to give up just to be here. And...

“And then I met you. And it’s not like – boom – everything was rainbows and sunshine from that moment on. Duro was still doing physio and I was still in France and stuck working for a guy who’d rather save the world than ever make a euro of money. But it was _better_. Better than the day before and it’s been like that ever since. Well, mostly.”

He shot a quick look at Castus before continuing.

“And now I’m still here, and there’s no corner office with a view, just Spartacus’ crappy walk-up that’s too hot in the summer and freezing in winter. And every day I’m dragged to Naevia’s for an hour to eat lunch and get cursed at by Crixus, and then I come home to you and we fight about laundry and the gas bill and it’s...” He realized he was on the verge of blacking out and paused to draw in some badly needed air. “I’m not gonna say ‘perfect’, because nothing’s _perfect_ , but it’s so fucking _close_ that I’m done looking for anything else. And honestly, you can’t convince me anything could ever be better than this.”

He stopped again, hoping that someone else might finally jump in and save him from messing up further. But the silence that fell was so awkward that he realized he just had to keep on talking, even if he was sure he was just digging a deeper hole with every word.

“And I get that none of that means that we need to get married. I mean, a year ago I would have probably been arguing that exact point. But then I just realized that if I have this one amazing thing in my life, this one thing that I’ve got that’s better than what anyone else will ever get, if I’m _that_ lucky, then... Why wouldn’t I want to flaunt it a little and make it as public and official as I can? And I guess that makes me a selfish asshole, but hey, what else is new, right?”

He gave a little dry laugh, and then he was all out of words, and he finally gave up and gingerly lifted his head and his gaze up from the floor. He found Nasir staring back at him with a look that he honestly couldn’t read. And that was saying something; they had been together long enough that Agron had assumed that he had seen every possible expression the other man could make.

However, their impromptu staring match was quickly interrupted by the noise of china clattering loudly against laminate.

“Fuck this, now _I_ want to marry you.”

And then Nasir burst out laughing and Agron started to gradually get the idea that maybe he hadn’t completely fucked up this time, after all.

“Sorry, you have to get your own ‘cos this one’s taken,” Nasir said.

“Does that mean...”

Nasir smiled a little wider and tugged at Agron’s t-shirt to make him lean in. “Yup. I’m afraid so.” But before Agron had made it to touching distance, he stopped him again, hand on chest. “Just one little bit of critique, though.”

“Hmm?”

He lifted the velvet box between them. “Now, it’s a sweet gesture and all, but I’m not really that big on jewelry. I thought you knew that by now.”

“Just give it a chance. You will change your mind once you see it. Trust me.”

Nasir gave him a questioning look but opened the box anyway and peeked inside. And no matter how much he tried to fight it, the muscles at the corners of his mouth just didn’t comply and kept twitching upwards. He took the green plastic ring in his hand and looked up at Agron raising an eyebrow.

“A dinosaur?”

Agron shrugged and bit his lip. “I wasn’t really planning on a ring, but Sandie was adamant that I have something to give you, so...”

“You took proposal advice from a six-year-old?”

“Trust me, she was much more helpful than her father was,” Agron said as he snatched the ring from Nasir in one hand and took Nasir’s left hand in the other. “According to Crixus, there is no way anyone with even half a brain would be stupid enough to marry me.”

It was a tight fit, but eventually Agron was able to wiggle the plastic all the way over the second knuckle, and Nasir flexed his fingers.

“Well he’s a bit of an idiot, isn’t he?”

“My thoughts exactly.”

 

***

 

“You know, we could always order in,” Agron said. Or at least that’s what Nasir assumed he was saying as the words came out a little muffled and seemed to be addressed mostly to Nasir’s collarbone.

“I’m afraid I’ve reached my limit of take-out for the month,” he answered as he kept raking his fingers through Agron’s hair, smoothing out the bits that were sticking out in the wrong places. “And anyway, I need to get out there and show off this engagement ring. That’s the done thing, right?”

Agron chuckled and finally propped himself up on his elbow. “You don’t _have_ to keep wearing that, you know that, right?”

“I will cherish it forever,” Nasir said, both joking and not at the same time as he grabbed Agron’s chin to keep him in place and reached up to give him a quick peck on the lips. “Really.”

They kept staring at each other dopily for a minute, until Nasir finally had the presence of mind to check himself.

“How unbearable are we?”

“The worst,” Agron answered with a grin and then he was already leaning back in.

The kiss was quickly starting to turn into round two, and Nasir was too hungry for that – hungry for actual _food_ – so he slipped his arms from around Agron’s waist and wedged his hands between them.

“Okay, enough of this nonsense. I’m starving and you’re taking me to dinner.”

“ _I’m_ taking _you_? When was this decided and why didn’t I get the memo?”

“Well, it’s either that or we settle for whatever’s in the fridge, because I just paid the bills and that means no eating out until the 25th for me. But, of course, if you’re fine with eggs and tuna for our _engagement_ dinner, then...”

“Babe...” Agron feigned an exaggerated sigh and then leaned down to give Nasir’s forehead a kiss. “Fine, my treat then,” he continued as he scrambled off the bed, “but know that I’m expecting something pretty damn special from you at the end of the week. No expenses spared.”

“So should I just make the reservations at Le Cinq right away?”

Agron chuckled. “Just remember to ask for our usual table.”

“Of course.”

Agron picked up his t-shirt from the floor and pulled it over his head. He had just pushed one arm through the sleeve, when the sound of fabric ripping in half made him stop midway. He looked down at himself and then looked at Nasir and frowned.

“Since when have you worn black? Or anything this tight?”

“That’s not my shirt,” Nasir answered evenly.

It took a moment for the information to sink in, but when it did, Agron hung his head and groaned. “He’s still here, isn’t he?”

Nasir picked up an extra pair of jeans from the floor. “Unless he’s gone home in his underwear.”

“I’m never going to get rid of him, am I? Might as well just put up a mattress in here and have him move in.”

“Mm, rather not,” Nasir said as he did his belt and then reached for a sweater, “He snores.”

Agron’s hands froze around the collar of the shirt and he turned to look at Nasir again.

“And you know this...how exactly?”

“Well, he might have napped on the couch at some point or another,” Nasir started, “ _Or_ we could be having a torrid love affair behind your back. Take your pick.”

“After today, that might not be the joke you want to go for,” Agron shot back and then finally peeled off the torn shirt and put on one of his own. Then he grabbed another t-shirt from the drawer and the extra jeans from the bed and disappeared out the door.

“You know, the polite thing to do would be to at least _ask_ if I wanted to join,” Castus said, eyes trained on the TV as he kept flicking through the channels. “That’s like rule number one.”

Agron was about to give a less than friendly reply, but then bit his tongue at the last second and threw the clothes at the man instead.

“Put those on,” he said with a resigned sigh, “you’re coming to dinner with us.” He felt Nasir snaking an arm around his waist and pressing a quick kiss on his shoulder blade, and suddenly he couldn’t help but feel a bit better about the world – and Castus in it – regardless.

“Wait. This isn’t mine,” Castus said, holding up the shirt.

“Yes, well...” Agron cringed and scratched the back of his neck. “I might have accidentally ripped up that one.”

“So you’re giving me _yours_?” Castus looked at him with a suspicious frown. “That’s almost something a decent person would do. Why are you being nice?”

“Because if I have to sit through a dinner with you and not lose my appetite, you’re going to be covered up,” Agron answered with an eye-roll. “Also, I don’t think my boyfriend here needs any more reasons to be gawking at you.”

“Fiancé,” Nasir corrected and poked him less than gently in the side. “And I don’t _gawk_ at people.”

“Well, to be fair, sometimes y–”

“Moving on...” Nasir glared Castus quiet and turned his attention back to Agron while pulling on his jacket sleeve by sleeve. “And anyway, it’s not like you don’t check out anyone ever, Mr. Hypocritical-Much.”

Agron rolled his eyes again. “That’s not–”

“Just like you _never_ flirt with anyone else either, right? And especially not with that new guy at the bakery.”

“At least when I flirt with a guy, I don’t drag him in here the next day and make him my new best friend like some people I know.”

“No, of course not. You’re far too busy getting hot and bothered with your old friends.”

“What? Who? And please don’t say Spartacus, because that’s not fun–”

Nasir shook his head with a sly smile. “Crixus.”

Agron’s face dropped like a lead weight and for a moment he just stared at Nasir like he’d grown a second head.

“Okay that’s it, now you’ve gone too far. Joking about Raif’s one thing, but Crixus–”

And now it was Nasir’s turn to look back in confusion. “Wait, who’s Raif?”

“The guy from the bakery,” Agron answered exasperated, “You know him”

Nasir crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow. “Apparently not as well as _you_ do.”

“Look, guys, maybe I should just–”

“Anyway... Raif’s not the point,” Agron continued, ignoring Castus’ interruption, “What I meant to say is, I am not, never have been and never will be attracted to goddamn Crixus of all people.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Nasir smiled wider at the growing panic on Agron’s face. “I mean, that didn’t sound defensive at all. _At all_.” He winked. “The lady doth protest too much, I’d say.”

Agron grabbed his jacket from the couch and then pushed past Nasir with a little more force than was absolutely necessary.

“I’m going downstairs to get us a table. Feel free to join me once you’ve stopped being insane.”

“Say hi to the boyfriend for me!”

Agron flipped him off over his shoulder and then the front door was already closing after his back.

Nasir was in the middle of tying his shoelaces when he looked up and saw that Castus was staring at him with a look that was somehow halfway between disturbed and confused.

“What now?”

“So are we still going, or...?”

“Of course, why not? I’m starving and he’s paying. That’s the perfect combination.”

“But aren’t you two...fighting?”

Nasir blinked a few times, trying his hardest to understand what Castus was talking about.

“Of course we’re not fighting. We just got engaged and everything for god’s sake. You were _there_.”

“But...”

He never got further than that in his protest, though, as Nasir grabbed him by the shoulder and ushered him out the door in front of him.

“You know how I always tell you that whenever you’re done with that idiot you’re more than welcome to shack up with me?”

Nasir gave him a sideways look as they kept jogging down the stairs. “Yes...”

“Well, sorry, but I think I’m going to reconsider the offer.” They reached the barely-there lobby downstairs, and Castus held the front door open as they both stepped out on the street. “Because after today I’m starting to get this vibe that I might just be happier being single than ever doing whatever it is that you guys are doing.”

“It’s got its perks, you know,” Nasir said nudging him in the side as they walked.

“Like what?

“Like all the priceless gifts you get.” He fished the green plastic ring out of his jeans pocket and wiggled it in front of his face. “Better than some hot, nameless hook-up off of Grindr, huh?”

“Yeah, not really,” Castus answered, just as they came to a stop by the restaurant door, and Nasir shrugged.

“Well, to each his own, I guess. Works for me, though.”

He opened the door and stepped over the threshold only to stop again the next moment, making Castus stumble against his back. It was way too late for lunch and still a little too early for dinner, and the place should have been more or less empty, so Nasir was surprised to find it half-full. And then even more surprised when he realized he knew everyone there.

He waded his way through the congratulating hugs and pats on the back until he finally reached Agron and leaned down to give him a kiss.

“So what’s going on here?” he asked and sat down at the table.

Agron rolled his eyes. “I send one little innocent text to Duro, and then five minutes later...” He waved his hand around. “...this happened.”

“Well, you can’t say he’s not efficient.”

“I’d like to hear you be that happy about it once your mom calls back,” Agron muttered and downed half of his cheap chardonnay in one go.

Nasir looked back, horrified. “He didn’t.”

“He did. Apparently he has half of Paris _and_ London on speed-dial these days.”

“Brilliant. She’s probably buying the Eurostar tickets as we speak...for the whole family. And the neighbors.” He buried his face in Agron’s shoulder with a groan. “Is it too late to change my mind about this?”

Agron ruffled his hair. “Sorry, schatz, but an oral contract is legally binding. I even have a witness and everything.” He pointed at Castus on the other side of the table and then quickly continued when he saw him open his mouth, “Make one remark with the word oral in it, and you can forget about the free meal.”

Castus made a gesture of zipping his lips closed, and Agron nodded quickly in return with a satisfied smile.

Nasir had to confess that the sudden truce between the two men was as disconcerting as it was unexpected, and he was about to comment on it but got distracted by Naevia, who walked up to the table and dragged him off his chair for a hug and a kiss.

“My condolences,” Crixus said as he appeared behind Naevia’s back, setting a bottle of champagne down on the table.

“Don’t listen to him,” she said to Nasir, “He’s just jealous because he found out his boyfriend’s getting married to another man.”

Agron and Crixus shared a look and a groan.

“Naevia...”

“Tell me I’m wrong, then,” she said with an innocent smile.

Crixus rolled his eyes and muttered something in French under his breath, before dialing up the volume and changing back to English. “You’re lucky that I love you,” he said and kissed her briefly on the cheek. “And now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and take out all this jealous rage on the lamb chops.”

Agron watched the kitchen doors swinging after the man’s back and shook his head. “You’ve all gone insane.”

“Oh, come now, no need to fight it,” Nasir said and patted his knee. “It’s just a crush, I understand. These things happen.”

Now, Agron could take a joke – to a point – but still, between this and Castus, he felt he had had enough of bad jokes for one day. He picked a slice of bread from the basket in the middle of the table and idly broke off a piece.

“You know, this reminds me, we’re all out of bread at home,” he said matter-of-factly. “Might have to swing by the bakery tomorrow. First thing in the morning. Bright and early.”

He ignored the look Nasir sent his way and kept brushing breadcrumbs off his shirt.

“And Raif did say he wanted to test out a new recipe on me, so even more reason to go. I mean, you know me, I just _can’t_ resist a guy who can cook. Apparently.”

“Who’s Raif?” Naevia asked as she sat down next to Castus.

“Nobody,” Nasir answered. Just a fraction too quickly.

He tried not reacting to Agron’s smug grin as long as he could, but patience wasn’t exactly a virtue of his. And then he was already grabbing the piece of baguette from the man’s hand and shoving it in his mouth.

“Just eat your bread, idiot.”

“Love you, too, babe.”

Naevia looked to Castus for an explanation, but he just shook his head in response and poured them both a glass of champagne. And then they were already bringing out the salads and soups and the rest of the bread got passed around, and everyone was too busy with the food and the impending nuptials to be mentioning bakeries again.

The meal had barely moved on to the main course, and Duro was already testing the second draft of his best man speech on Spartacus, Sandrine was designing her flower girl dress on a spare napkin and Naevia was halfway through the menu for the reception. And Saxa was on the phone booking a stripper, but then Nasir wasn’t sure if that had anything to do with the wedding or if it was just because it was Tuesday.

“You know, I’m starting to think you were right before. Maybe we’ve just made a big mistake,” Agron said then, leaning closer to Nasir’s ear to be heard over the ever-loudening chatter in the room.

“We?” Nasir asked and stole some more fries from Agron’s plate. “You’re the one who asked, so don’t try to pin this on me, it’s all your fault.”

“ _You_ said yes.”

“And _you’re_ the one who told everybody. Without your big mouth we could’ve just slinked in and out of city hall without anyone knowing.”

Agron sighed. “Okay, so it _is_ all my fault.”

“Yes.”

“And now we’re being forced into throwing some kind of a wedding of the century, huh?”

“Yes.”

Agron drank another mouthful of wine and then kept tapping his fingers on the side of the glass for a moment.

“Do I have to wear a dress?”

Nasir matched his smile and patted his cheek. “Darling, you can wear whatever you want.”

 


End file.
